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In this, our second interview with David Wetmore, Life Coach, David talks about stress management. In the
first podcast, 0009 WWC Life Coaching – David Wetmore Interview, David works to connect what is going on inside the person with what is going on outside the person.
David starts by stating stress is a feeling. He uses a metaphor of walking on a board. However, as we raise the board and make it progressively narrower the feeling one gets is what David is calling stress. To support that stress is only a feeling he refers to two people having the same job and one loving it and the other being totally miserable, saying it’s the job that is making him feel bad.
When there’s acceptance the stress is self-induced then freedom to act and do something about it sets in. Otherwise, one is trapped in an relentless effort to control the world around them. This can lead to hurting oneself or those around you.
The question surfaced, “Why should an employer worry about whether or not employees are stressed if the employer is getting the money they want from the situation?” Answer: The better his people feel the better his business will be. It will increase efficiency and productivity. Also, when employees are appreciated in this manner trust increases which is an important asset to have when difficulties surface.
Asked about how to reduce stress when faced with the unfairness of life David stated that success in this regard is more of a state of being rather than something to do. He rolls back to his initial statement that stress is more about how we allow ourselves to think, which is something about which we can do something. The more we realize stress is something we have on the inside the greater the odds we’ll have much less of it.
The conversation switched to meditation and yoga, which are quite popular right now. David talks about how they are being used to treat symptoms rather than used to dissolve the stress completely. Yoga and meditation are for accelerating your well being.
So, it’s not the stressful situations themselves but the thinking about them that creates sustained stress within. This is not to say there are not external stressful events. Rather, it’s the continued thinking about would could or could not happen in a reactive manner that creates sustained stress. The goal is to get away from focusing on something external. With success there is the realization there is nothing that one needs stress release from. It’s all about letting go of the stressful thinking and just being. This led to looking at the definition of “Yoga” and how it refers to unity within rather than unity without. It started as a meditative technique.
David discusses how Viktor Frankl (Man’s Search for Meaning) influenced him. Frankl emphasized that it’s our thinking that is the source of stress. Even though his family was killed, he was starved and tortured, the Nazis could not take away his mind. He was always free inside his own mind. Frankl noted that some of the prisoners were worse to other prisoners than were the guards.
David shared his basketball metaphor which serves as a great example of our thinking being the source of our feelings. Imagine the winning point is scored at the closing buzzer. Half the people are elated and the other half are sorrowful. It’s the exact same event. All that differs is the chosen response, whether or not an expectation is met. The expectation is all about one’s thinking.
In closing, David stresses that we never get rid of stress completely but it is something we can aspire to do. What we can do through daily practice is reduce the intensity of the stress response and return to a state of equilibrium much faster. There are real, stressful situations that are just a fact of life and we need to deal with them. The key is finding what one is hung up on and dissolve that connection. This is true even in painful situations. The pain is real, the stressful suffering is optional.
For more information you can contact David at:
(c) 513 543 6596
dave@davidwetmore.com
For more information on the “8 Steps From Chaos To Clarity and Calm: CEO Advanced Training” go to
https://www.ctrchg.com/ceo-advanced-training/
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